Saturday, December 15, 2012

An ode to the Twinkie:
Gluttony pays:
by: Kilgore Trosky Trout

    (This book is available on Amazon. Please borrow it or buy it so I can live the America dream.)

 http://www.amazon.com/An-ode-Twinkie-Gluttony-ebook/dp/B007WZHVE4


Did you ever eat a Twinkie? Your time may be running
out for such a sin. Sadly,the company is in chapter eleven,
bankrupt, but in the old days of the 1960s the company was
the leader in providing you cakes that were gooey junk food
pieces of heaven. At that time, they also, were not deemed
evil, as nobody really considered this type of junk food bad
for you; with the exclusion of a few health nuts, that lived on
bird food in California, there were no warnings. Instead, these
snacks were considered a marvel of technology, a cake
created by manufacturing that let the working class get a
version of a cream puff.
Maybe, Marie Antoinette would have turned up her nose,
but as a kid, we thought it was a pure culinary delight, a work
of genius on the level of a creation by Steve Jobs' designers.
Unlike computer products, a Twinkie from the 1960s is still
good, but that high-priced Mac from the 1980s is now a fish
tank.
Science has proven those Twinkies will last forever with
all their preservatives, but your current Iphone or Ipad is
already obsolete and can't help you survive unless you can
turn it into an Ipocket and eat it.
Maybe it was better in the 1960's. YOU SEE! Twinkies
were made in America, your Iphone, Ipad is not. Ironically,
those hipster products are made in Commie China. So, when
you are standing in line at four in the morning in front of the
Apple store think about the ramifications of supporting the
Communist Chinese government. Before, you plunk down
your hard earned dollars on a electronic status symbol.
Think. Now, instead go to the Seven-Eleven and buy a
Twinkie and a cup of coffee and see if that old Iphone or Ipad
still works. Waste not, want not. Plus, you didn't kick a
Korean war vet or Vietnam Vet in the crouch by supporting
the Chinese communist government.
OK. Sorry about the rant. Now for those writing their thesis
on economics. Just think of the ramifications of the Twinkies
being the canary in the coal mine about America's economic
health. It is telling you that America needs to keep on
building factories, hopefully building something not so
dangerous, as junk food.
But for god's sake, we do need factories.
Yes, my friend, the Twinkie is astounding and highly
overlooked product of the modern age.
It could be Twinkies were a long missed economic
indicator? You think Milton Friedman would have picked that
up at the University of Chicago, instead of believing in
Trickle down economics, or maybe he would have just
laughed at the Laufer curve. While his brilliant mind
pondered that greed is good; he should have tossed down a
Sno-ball with a cup of Joe and said: “only give the rich a tax
break if they actually build a business in America.”
Well, they do call Economics the dismal science.
However, if Milton had been charting the sales of the
Twinkie, he might have had a theory that actually worked.
Bingo, my friend. Yes you! My stressed out indebted
consumer: The Twinkie tells you a key indicator to the health
of America's GDP.
It was during the time when Americans were shoveling in
junk food into their pie holes, that we also had the America of
manufacturing, jobs, big cars, starter homes, unions and a
feeling of optimism. Most of us never considered that the
food that was being sold to kids was dangerous and addictive.

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